Thirsty63

FACTS:

• I was never asked to prom
• I've never had a real boyfriend
• I think men are beautiful
• I've Never gone on a date 
• I AM 24. 

It's very easy to get caught up in wanting a man, the Bible speaks of it:

"To the woman he said,

I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children.

Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." - Genesis 3:16

I often watch young women throw themselves at men. I mean going to the EXTREMES to get noticed, the EXTREMES to be validated, the EXTREMES to be loved. I remember praying to God and saying that all I wanted and needed was Him, that I was content. 

 BOOM!

You'd think since I've been single so long, I'd be an expert at contentment. 

BUT NO!

So here comes the..

  TEST!

I get to work and there is a beautiful man in rotation and just like that I was GOT! What did I do? I turned my game on.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." - Proverbs 31:30

Fortunately, he left early and I realized that I had fantasized over a man for 6 hours. 

I WAS THIRSTY 

I repented and snapped out of fantasy land.

I got to work the next day and 

BOOM!

A fine peanut butter man with a pretty smile is in rotation and I'm like UGH! Usually the peanut butter man is rude but he was really nice to me that day. He was carrying conversations with me and I started to slip. Fortunately, he left early too. But , before He left.. He asked, "So, Miss DeLisa are you a religious lady." I replied, " I get down with Jesus." 

I repented and snapped out of fantasy land.

I didn't go to any extremes to catch the attention of these men, but my mind was constantly conjuring up ideas. The truth is, if we'd stop thirsting for men and  thirst for God; we won't have to go to any extremes to be noticed, validated or loved because He pursues us. He is jealous for us. He's the only one that can quench your thirst.

Psalm 63 1-8

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;

    my soul thirsts for you;

my flesh faints for you,

    as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

2 

So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,

    beholding your power and glory.

3 

Because your steadfast love is better than life,

    my lips will praise you.

4 

So I will bless you as long as I live;

    in your name I will lift up my hands.

5 

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,

    and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,

6 

when I remember you upon my bed,

    and meditate on you in the watches of the night;

7 

for you have been my help,

    and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.

8 

My soul clings to you;

    your right hand upholds me.

THIRST for HIM > him

Brunch with Jesus

 

While my 4 foster children were out, I went out for brunch with Jesus. I told God how desperately I want to return to the arts & my waitress was a theatre major. As I waited for my coffee, I saw a guy I did a show with some semesters back.  I miss the arts but I really need to focus on what God has for me. I refuse to live a life without purpose and I totally need to get rid of this fear of peoples opinion. So cheers to hearing from God soon and praying that Im smart enough to listen & obey! 

Focus on the Vision

 

 

(Vision Board I created in my Pinky Promise Group)

 

At 23, I've yet to be in a relationship and since the holidays just past, it seems like everyone wants to know when I'm getting married. My facebook updates and instagram time line is filled with people getting engaged or married and it had me in a rut for all of 2 weeks. I started longing and praying for a man ...

AND then I got distracted...


I started seeing things I wanted to change in my life, dreams I wanted to chase and in that instant my career presided over this desire of having a man. Even though I will continue to desire a man, I currently desire to achieve my dreams first. I thought keep randoms around would keep me occupied in my singleness but I've learned they are nothing but an unnecessary distraction.

This year I will focus on the vision I was given and stop wasting my time with distractions and firmly believe that one day my hubby will come along!


"And the Lord answered me: “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. " Habakkuk 2:2-3

 

I thought he was the one but I was WRONG

I thought I finally put the pieces together. I had finally made my mind up that he just simply wasn't fo me. That he had no part of my future and that is why there was no need in holding on... and then he text me.

HA
HA
HA

Satan you're so cute but nothing is worth more than knowing that you are fulfilling God's Will.
You see I loved a young man once. I loved him with everything.. when I mean ride or die. I mean it in it to the fullest. One night he came into town and it was a night that I was free from my foster children. I embraced my freedom from motherhood and just wanted to be 22. I let my hair down, turned the music up and tilted the bottles back. I knew I wanted to get drunk and he did too. I figured we were such good friends that we could handle it. So, I was out and about with my sorority and fraternity brothers and him. We were having such a good time.

I noticed that my brother wasn't being very brotherly. Usually, we talk crap to each other and just joke and play around but at the bar we seemed more like a couple. We shared drinks and laughed and talked as if we were the only two there.

At the end of the night. I was all over him, kissing him, saying all kinds of sexual things. Yeah, I know I was wrong for that but trust me I paid the price. Later that evening I was intoxicated and it was just us two in the car. We were talking and I asked him, "What do you want from me?" All he replied was, "I want to fuck."

That was as painful as stabbing me in the heart. A man who I believed was my friend, a man of God, my soul mate hurt me in the deepest way. A man I expected to understand and value my purity was ready to take away something so special without a commitment. I later asked, "that's it" He came up with some B.S. to fill the air. After all the jokes,  he never wanted to be with me.
And though everything seemed so perfect and so right between us, something had to give. Now have I forgiven him. Of course! But, wll I ever consider entering into something like that again? HEAVENS NO! What brought me much encouragement was Heather Lindsey' blog post.
"You start to wonder, "why did that person reject you? Why didn't he want the be with you." While you're wondering, the Holy Spirit is screaming-- "ARE YOU SERIOUS?? That person had NOTHING to do with your future and matter of fact, I never told you to get into that relationship. There was no profit from the beginning and now you are wondering why they rejected you? They were NEVER equipped to be with you from the beginning!" "

Reading this helped me come alive! HA! There is a husband for me and my hubby wouldn't say those things expecially without the intentions of marriage.

I don't want you to be a Summertime High

 
 
Living for God can be so easy in the summertime because there is less to focus on but the moment I get busy.. I forget all about the One who made it possible for me to do anything. I need to refocus.. regroup and get it together. I need Jesus!

 

Time to turn up the spirituals and listen to some sermons... It's time to have a revival!

 

Fostering The Boys

 

 

I've had stacks of paperwork, books to read, shots, training, classes all to create a home for abused and neglected children. My vision has always been to start a home for girls but its clear that God is sending us B O Y S! My training should be over this week and boy am I glad!  Soon the boys will be settled inside the cottage and we'll be one large family! I'm not really nervous about being a mother, but I am curious to see how they are going to act.

 

 

But, as I await their arrival... I'll give them a really cool home. Monsters Inc. is one of the first movies I saw on a dinner date with God and look at the theme to our hallway? Isn't it awesome?

 

 

 

 

Fight A Good Fight

Lately I've felt very blah and very lazy when I need to be the most productive. So, last night I finally got back in the ring & I finally felt like I could take on the world again. Who would think that having a man swing at your head would make you  come alive. The adreneline rush was just the stress relief I needed to let go and focus on what I want in my life! There are a million things I need to accomplish and boy will I get through it all! After having a great night in the ring, I told my earthly father and he sent me a very discouraging message and for a few minutes I wanted to send him the most hurtful message I could think of. And then I remembered that God didnt call me to act like that. Because the people closest to me arent really sure what God is doing in my life, they say mean and hurtful things. People always reject things they dont understand. Remember that when you are fighting for God dont jump on the other team because the devil made you upset ... God already won the battle dont get in the way