I thought he was the one but I was WRONG

I thought I finally put the pieces together. I had finally made my mind up that he just simply wasn't fo me. That he had no part of my future and that is why there was no need in holding on... and then he text me.

HA
HA
HA

Satan you're so cute but nothing is worth more than knowing that you are fulfilling God's Will.
You see I loved a young man once. I loved him with everything.. when I mean ride or die. I mean it in it to the fullest. One night he came into town and it was a night that I was free from my foster children. I embraced my freedom from motherhood and just wanted to be 22. I let my hair down, turned the music up and tilted the bottles back. I knew I wanted to get drunk and he did too. I figured we were such good friends that we could handle it. So, I was out and about with my sorority and fraternity brothers and him. We were having such a good time.

I noticed that my brother wasn't being very brotherly. Usually, we talk crap to each other and just joke and play around but at the bar we seemed more like a couple. We shared drinks and laughed and talked as if we were the only two there.

At the end of the night. I was all over him, kissing him, saying all kinds of sexual things. Yeah, I know I was wrong for that but trust me I paid the price. Later that evening I was intoxicated and it was just us two in the car. We were talking and I asked him, "What do you want from me?" All he replied was, "I want to fuck."

That was as painful as stabbing me in the heart. A man who I believed was my friend, a man of God, my soul mate hurt me in the deepest way. A man I expected to understand and value my purity was ready to take away something so special without a commitment. I later asked, "that's it" He came up with some B.S. to fill the air. After all the jokes,  he never wanted to be with me.
And though everything seemed so perfect and so right between us, something had to give. Now have I forgiven him. Of course! But, wll I ever consider entering into something like that again? HEAVENS NO! What brought me much encouragement was Heather Lindsey' blog post.
"You start to wonder, "why did that person reject you? Why didn't he want the be with you." While you're wondering, the Holy Spirit is screaming-- "ARE YOU SERIOUS?? That person had NOTHING to do with your future and matter of fact, I never told you to get into that relationship. There was no profit from the beginning and now you are wondering why they rejected you? They were NEVER equipped to be with you from the beginning!" "

Reading this helped me come alive! HA! There is a husband for me and my hubby wouldn't say those things expecially without the intentions of marriage.

I don't want you to be a Summertime High

 
 
Living for God can be so easy in the summertime because there is less to focus on but the moment I get busy.. I forget all about the One who made it possible for me to do anything. I need to refocus.. regroup and get it together. I need Jesus!

 

Time to turn up the spirituals and listen to some sermons... It's time to have a revival!

 

Fostering The Boys

 

 

I've had stacks of paperwork, books to read, shots, training, classes all to create a home for abused and neglected children. My vision has always been to start a home for girls but its clear that God is sending us B O Y S! My training should be over this week and boy am I glad!  Soon the boys will be settled inside the cottage and we'll be one large family! I'm not really nervous about being a mother, but I am curious to see how they are going to act.

 

 

But, as I await their arrival... I'll give them a really cool home. Monsters Inc. is one of the first movies I saw on a dinner date with God and look at the theme to our hallway? Isn't it awesome?

 

 

 

 

Fight A Good Fight

Lately I've felt very blah and very lazy when I need to be the most productive. So, last night I finally got back in the ring & I finally felt like I could take on the world again. Who would think that having a man swing at your head would make you  come alive. The adreneline rush was just the stress relief I needed to let go and focus on what I want in my life! There are a million things I need to accomplish and boy will I get through it all! After having a great night in the ring, I told my earthly father and he sent me a very discouraging message and for a few minutes I wanted to send him the most hurtful message I could think of. And then I remembered that God didnt call me to act like that. Because the people closest to me arent really sure what God is doing in my life, they say mean and hurtful things. People always reject things they dont understand. Remember that when you are fighting for God dont jump on the other team because the devil made you upset ... God already won the battle dont get in the way 

The Story of Judah

The story of Judah is special to my walk with Christ. As I was taking on a new job it left me in the woods alone and a longed for a dog for protection and companionship. I told God the desires of my heart and I let Him know I was looking to Him for guidance. Money was a little tight but I figuered friendship and security was worth it.

So, I went to the animal shelter to find the perfect pooch. I had premeditated the idea of getting a Pomeranian because I act like one and I thought it would be a perfect match. When I entered the Animal Shelter doors I had my mind set on a Pomeranian expecting them to be hard to find and guess what ... There she was! I had named her Calvary. I walked her for a bit, trying to feel for a connection. When I left I couldnt get her face out of my mind.  But, I wouldn't make that decision because I hadn't heard from God.  

It Just So Happens... 

My boss was planning on getting two dogs for the Children's Ranch and just before the Animal Shelter closed, she asked me to pack up the kids and meet her there. She said, we could pick two dogs , the children could pick one and the other one was up for me to decide. When I got to the shelter the dog I had my eyes on was gone. She had been shipped off to rescue and was very ill. So, I had to find a new one. I looked high and low and I found the one who seemed timid at first but was a ball of spunk once she got some loving. When I gazed into her eyes, I said, "Judah" and she moved toward the cage. I knew right then she was the one. She was so high up , I had to get someone to get her out of the cage and we connected.

She is proof that God will provide you with the desires of your heart and trust Him, He can make a way.

Hardwork WILL pay off.

Nothing is going to be handed to you. You must put in HARDWORK. " If God has brought you to it, he'll bring you through it." Dont be so quick to give up! Keep your head up and keep working hard! God has this all in control. 

He's got it under control

God is moving and working but I dony know whats going on because He's got it all worked out. I had a stable job as an Assistant  Hall Director of a residence hall          at the university I attend. I was feeling unfufilled and well God opened a door for me to become a House Parent for abused and neglected children. When I was offered the position, I saw it as a great opportunity but I needed to consult God. I didnt want to be wandering in the Wilderness. I wanted to be in the Will of God. Weeks had passed and the owner of the Childrens home called me to discuss it. I jad talked to God about my future and the financial struggle my family faces and well I decided to take a leap of faith and take the job. The job is very intense but God is calling me to trust Him.  Sundays message encouraged me to continue to praise God in the tough times because He's got it all under control. 

SolaVaca Day 4: Body Boarding

Try new things! Be strong and courageous like Joshua! 

SolaVaca13:Day4

Day 4! Marveling at Gods Beautiful Creation! The Beach is my favorite but be fore I could get to South Padre Island ... I had to stop at the Selena Museum it inspired me to embrace my culture and talents to make music for God! Music and great character can really impact the lives of people! 

I totally want to live in a lighthouse

Radical for God

My earthly father crushed my spirit, when he questioned the reason I blogged. I tried to explain that I used it to share ideas and what God has done for me. He bombarded me with questions and he told me how irrelevant it was and how I was using it for social media reasons. He said there was no point in this and it angered me and I haven't felt rage in a long time.

So, I ran to the bathroom and told God that no matter the hurt I felt that I'd follow Him and not some man who clearly doesn't know what God is doing in my life. My soul cringes when I replay the words my father said to me in my head. I know that if I have hate in my heart I can not be righteous, but it hurts. And then I remembered :

1 Timothy 4:12 says this, "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

It's time for me to take up my cross.

It's time to stop playing games

It's time to get radical for God

Answer

When your family doesn't understand what God is doing in your life. Remember you answer only to God :D

The Art of Sola Travel : Future in Travel

On my #SolaVaca I scrolled through the television channels to find something to watch and I ran across one show on Hollywood Ex's and the other Sister Wives.  As I pray for my future, I talk to God on what I want and what He thinks is best. I'd really like the man I get in a relationship to be the one, I have no desire to play games any more. Marriage is serious. But, when I watch these shows, I see women who made excuses and didn't commit. It's as if the media has made a mockery of  holy matrimony and as sad as it is divorce is becoming so very popular but it is nothing I want in my future! Oh NO!

I remember when I was younger talking to God on how I would wait to have sex until marriage and so far I'm doing pretty good. 22 years strong but I want to have the same will power for my marriage. I want to be committed and dedicated to making things work and I pray that my husband would have the same. Giving up is easy but I want someone to build an empire with and anything worth having is worth the struggle.

I am officially no longer looking for a man...




And officially dedicated to finding what God wants me to do with my life

Traveling is so awesome I'm considering becoming nomadic.

Back in Florida when I wanted to travel the world and help people, I'm starting to feel the same.

If I could find a job that combined travel and helping women and children ...

That would be the perfect opportunity for me

SolaVaca :Day 3

Last night, I had no peace about a certain situation with a certain someone! So I broke my fast to investigate. Ultimately, the investigation gave me peace to sleep but I should have just trust God instead of listening to my flesh! I had heard from a significant person in a while and I feared that we had just grown apart but this morning, I woke up to a message from my buddy and it made me feel soo much better. 

For brunch, I was craving Puerto Rican Food and boy oh boy was it an intense journey just to get there but at least I can say I did it!

Above is my first stop but...

This is where I ended up 

It was delicious! But, it made me culturally aware of all the beauty God put on the earth! The infinte God didnt make us alike for a reason, there is beauty in diversity. This intensified my desire to travel and experience new things...

But for now I'll just be RiverWalkin'

SolaVaca :Day 2

Traveling has inspired me to be more and do more! Life is starting to feel like Eat Pray Love... I know that everyone is looking for love but I dont have to search for love from any man. The one man I was expecting to hold it down has dissapointed me but its all good! There is no need to search for any love other than Gods! 

I want to travel the world and help those I can.  As much as I desire a family and want children. Its time to live my life for God and have an amazing time! It's time to live it up ...God's Way! 

Lets get crazy! 

Day2 Spiritual Breakfast #SolaCaca13

For the Flesh

For the spirit! 

Todayshall be GREAT! 

SolaVaca13

A good friend reminded me that Stella got her groove back when she went to Jamaica! So Getting my groove back is the purpose of this trip: being alone with God, fasting for answers and ultimately enjoying life! Day 1 had already started off right ...

The fast begins! 

No social media -blogging allowed

No secular music

No fast food

No drinking

Sola!

Maybe A Mentor

I believe its easier to achieve a goal when you have someone in your life who is where you want to be. I'm starting to think I need a mentor to help me stay focused on my goals in life. I need to surround myself with more positive and accomplished people. When you are surrounded by successful people, you cant help but succeed! Time for me to take things to the next level! 

Make an Impact

I was asked to speak at a girls camp a couple weeks ago and of course I said yes without really considering the input needed for the job! So like always I put it off until the very last minute. God had been sending me signs to fast but I didnt want to sacrifice anything. 

But yesterday I woke up with my mind set to fast from food until after my speaking engagement. When I arrived at the ranch I was a little nervous. I was expecting a young crowd! 

However it became a diverse group ranging from 4-17! Raking on a group with different ages, personalities & maturity levels. I was thinking they would receive me well bit I'm so thankful to God that He put the right words in my mouth! I got to speak on Gods Love, Modesty, Beauty and Self-Defense. 

The girls enjoyed it they asked me to stay the night so I did. It gave me a taste of what it would be like to open my own girls home! I'm so thankful to God for His grace and mercy and I hope that He continues to use me! Empowering young girls is my passion and encourages me to  do and be better! 

 

Ready for the next step! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sweet Lesson in Modesty from Ali

 

As I workout, I'm noticing improvements in my body and boy oh boy do I want to flaunt off my hard work. Thoughts of tattoos and piercings have floated through my mind and then I ran across this article. I find this very amusing because I have been very focused on boxing and becoming a better fighter and reading this made me a better woman:

 

 

MUHAMMAD ALI'S ADVICE TO HIS DAUGHTER

An incident transpired when Muhammad Ali’s daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that were quite revealing.
Here ...is the story as told by one of his daughters:
“When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to.
Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.
Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.
Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You've got to work hard to get to them.”

He looked at me with serious eyes. “Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.”

Fighting & The Flesh

 

After some very interesting events last night, I knew that I needed God and I wanted to be restored and I didn't want to feel empty.  because feeling out of God's Will makes me feel gross! So I talked to my buddy Adaeze about what was going on and luckily she just went through a drought too.. Thankfully she prayed for me and my mess and I prayed as well & its time for me to have a Funeral of the Flesh and a Revival of the Spirit.

So this morning:

 I was asking God what He wanted me to do with this passion for fighting. I told Him about my ideas for teaching womens self defense and He sent a woman who had been abused to the front desk. She asked about my bruises and told me her story & showed me her scars! Yess God! Women's Self Defense it is! 

My focus lately has been on fighting to be an amazing fighter when my focus should be on fighting to help women and children protect themselves from being attacked. Even though I felt so far from God because of my previous mess ups, He opens His arms to me. I 'm so thankful that He loves me so much! 

It's always Time to Focus on GOD!!!

FLESH DIE

Just last week God starting opening doors for me and you know what I did, I began to do things I knew I shouldn't do. I fell into temptation and I loved every moment of it but because I can not serve two masters, I feel so corrupt. God has removed "special" people from my life and instead of chasing God, I'm chasing these people to stay. My flesh is tooo strong right now and I need to get right. I feel horrible, disgusting and just unfit. EWWW.. I hate this..

Turns UP *PRAISE MUSIC*

Time to GET RIGHT

Don't Wait Idly

                                                     What should you do when you are waiting?

                                                                        DO SOMETHING!!!

When you're in the waiting room at doctor's office, they usually have magazines or television or something to keep you entertained while you wait. So, I figured as I wait on God to reveal things to me, I'll keep myself entertained. As the saying goes, "An idol mind is the Devil's workshop," so after I went on my  3 am run/adventure, I started to have these ideas of fighting again.

 

In my notebooks I've written about teaching women's self-defense and so as I was running around the track and was inspired to go back to martial arts. I have these strong woman moments often so I didn't pay much attention too it, until the thought kept captivating my mind. So, I decided to go back to training. Empowering women through self-defense sounds like an amazing idea. So yesterday, I went had the workout of my life and at the end of the workout. I discussed my desires to teach women's self-defense, the current instructor explained that she'd be leaving in August and the position will be opened. Ca-ching! I then talked to administrative staff and they told me that because of my skill level if I was "faithful" in coming to class, I'd be able to become an instructor!

The endorphins from working out had me pumped and ready to go. So I totally encourage that if you are a Lady in Waiting, don't sit idly; find something to do. Try new things. 

Single is IN!

You know what most single ladies do?

They spend their "singleness" doing everything they can, NOT to be single. Yes I am guilty of this but not anymore. I'm a changed woman! Tonight I'm going to take myself out. I know that sounds weird but why not? I'm pretty sure no man can treat me better than I can treat myself. So tonight, I'm going to be very odd and get all dressed up. I'm talking hair, make up and I'm going to go see a movie.

I'm a Disney lover sooo..

Now that I've stopped focusing on this desire of being in a realtionship, I've gotten very serious about my dreams and not this fairytale lovestory either. I'm making plans, consulting my Heavenly Father of course and it looks like I'm FINALLY moving to Florida  I've got dreams of going to UCF and helping abused and neglected children all around the world.

You've got to work on yourself before you can be with anyone else.

That's my motto and I'm sticking to it!

SINGLE & LOVING IT!

Let's Have Fun Being Single

I'm slowly getting it together with God and I have been praying without ceasing. I keep asking  Him:

• What is my purpose?

My problem was that the desire of a relationship had become bigger than it should. Everyone around me has had at least one relationship in college and here I am a senior and I have dated no one. I felt like it was time but my timing is NOT God's timing. So, I've decided to wait on God for that handsome, wonderful, amazing husband of mine and have as much fun being single as possible. Being in a relationship is a lifestyle choice that not everyone is mature enough to handle.

So CHEERS to Being Single

&

Taking This Time to Better Yourself

Once I started thinking about what a good relationship consisted of I took it off my "To- Do" List. With all the compromising , checking in, opinions, unwritten rules, being single is a time to be SELFISH. Once you get in a respectable relationship , you have to consider other people's needs and wants and you really dont have much time to work on you! So, now I'm dedicated to having a B L A S T! I want to be the happiest SOLA there is!

To kick this new lifestyle off: I went running at 3 a.m. I suck at running but I want to do something challenging yet healthy. I want to learn new stuff, do new things and be a little outrageous. The run was tiring but rejuvenating. It was tough out there but I'm going to try it again.



Ride or Die for the Lord

When  seeking God and there is no reply that meets your fleshly needs,it gets harder to do what yo know is right. I'm starting to feel like God is  being silent and that I can just do my own thing now and so I did. But that sin just distanced me further from the One who loves me the most.

"So be careful to do what the Lord your God has commanded you; do not turn aside to the right or to the left.  Walk in obedience to all that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess."

Deuteronomy 5:32-33 (NIV)

When your faith is getting tested and you start to get weak cling to God. You might not understand now but be "ride or die" for the Lord. Sometimes, its as if we can be loyal to unfaithful men, backstabbing friends, and unjust organizations but it is so hard to be faithful to God, the one who always has our back.

I'm so frustrated with myself, it time for me to fall on my face before my Father because messing up may be human nature but I want Him more than anything.

Strengthening My Faith Muscle

I've been searching and praying for friendship and it came to me. However, he's leaving soon. I met a great guy , who is freakishly like me and soon we will have to go our separate ways. Since letting people come and go is a habit in my life, I usually don't let this phase me but because I desperately want to change; talking to him about separating made me VERY sad. So, I did what I always do; I started to withdraw myself from him. I wanted to push him away. I wanted to feel anything but sad.

When I woke up the next morning, I was upset with God because I kept asking Him to help me change and that I wanted an amazing friendship. I wanted someone who was lifelong and the moment I think I finally found it, its leaving me again.At my 3o'clock time (designated for praise and worship) I got in the shower and sang songs to God until tears ran down my eyes. I told God I would trust Him and submit to His Will.

As human beings we tend to get in the way. With our lips we say, "I'll trust you God, I submit to Your Will"and then worry about what is going to happen next. Cast your cares at the feet of Jesus and leave them there. After talking to God, I felt joy and peace because ultimately  my Father knows what is best for me.

It's okay to doubt yourself but never God, He's working everything out and you are worrying for nothing.

BE STILL & HAVE FAITH

From Selfishness to Servanthood

Lately, my everything has been centered around ME :

My purpose, 

My goals, 

My needs, 

My wants, 

My blah blah blah...

I've allowed myself to become so self absorbed that I have lost my desire to be a servant. I often say , "I love to help people" when I should say , "I love to help people when it is convenient for me." I got disgusted with myself just thinking of how selfish I have become, my life is not my own. The life we live belongs to God.

Proverbs 31 :20

"She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy."

Die to self. Help others. Serve God

Happy Sunday :)

I Chronicles 28

David to Solomon

Instructed to Build the Temple

⁹ “And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever. ¹⁰ Consider now, for the Lord has chosen you to build a house as the sanctuary. Be strong and do the work.”


David instructed Solomon to acknowledge God in all that he did ! A Father's walk with God should set the standard for his family. Men should be the spiritual leaders of the home. Serving God is something the next generation should see in us and not depart from it. We should serve God with a COMPLETENESS.

 If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever. Currently, I'm in a state of silence in which I dont know what God is doing but I know that I need to stop being so distracted by every little thing and simply focus on Him. Today's message encouraged me to KEEP SEEKING God because I know that I'll find Him because He NEVER left me. 

Each one of us have a purpose in God and the reason we have life is to find that purpose in Him. We've got to die to ourselves to serve God wholeheartedly.

At altar call, the pastor told the two beautiful women standing that though it was Father's Day Sunday that godly men need godly women and that we should pray for our future husbands. The funny thing is that my friend and I had already decided that for 31 days we were going to pray for our future husbands. I thought it was super cute.  Funny how God works, He's so awesome :)

Mission Accomplished : One Time for the Lord!

As I have stated before, I'm known to be one of those high-energy party people. When its time to "turn up" ... I'm that girl ...but NOT anymore.

I kept telling God that I wanted His Will and that I wanted to be the woman He had called me to be

It was time for me to be tested

WHEN: I got the PARTY invitation

I wanted to see my sorority sisters and just hang out , so I agreed to go but promised myself                     NO  Drinking and NO Smoking

 I have slipped up before but I wasn't about to slip up again so I filled my large pink water bottle with water and headed to the apartment. I greeted everyone as I always did... 

I was slightly nervous that I'd be asked a million questions as to why I wasn't smoking or drinking, so before I left I prayed to God to help me. 

&& HE DID!

Once I was offered substances, I simply  refrained and jokingly said, "I  can't , I'll just  sip on my Holy Water." They laughed but understood. They were curious as to what had brought about the  change and I told them that I was fasting from alcohol and other substance for God. The party that was all about "Turnin' up"  had shifted to the topic of religion and different churches people had been too. God became the center of the conversation. One of my sorority sisters even pulled me to the side, simply because she wanted to know more about Jesus and how to study the Bible.

It's amazing what God can do if you are faithful to Him. Worry less about yourself and who you use to be and focus on who you are in Christ. Allow God to mold you into the person He wants you to be and stop making excuses NOT to change. Everyday we live is a gift from God and He is worthy of so much more than we give Him.Give back to God what is already His!

You belong to Him!

Do You Love the Woman In the Mirror?

 Lets take a good look at the woman in the mirror

When you wake up in the morning, are you eager to cover up your imperfections with make up? Or maybe when you get dressed your words are filled with negative self talk? Like:

• Oh my gosh, I'm too fat for this
• I hate the way I look
• Why can't I just be like ____? (fill in the blank)
•  

Understand that God created YOU  to be YOU!  Psalms 139:14 says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well." You are masterpiece crafted by God. Yes you are the bomb but its not your external features that make you explosive. 1 Peter 3:3-6 says, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. ⁵ For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, ⁶ like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."

The media attacks our minds daily bombarding us with messages on how we should look,feel, dress... EVERYTHING. But remember we are not of this world and do NOT have to submit to the world's standards.  [John 18:36] Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jewish leaders. But now my kingdom is from another place.”

We are NOT of this world therefore we do not have to look like them. When you look into the mirror know that God loves you more than you can EVER imagine just the way you are.  You are more than your physical apperance .. you are a beautiful soul darling :)

Don't make him an idol. Enjoy being Single

Don't let finding a man become such a priority that you forget about the man who died for YOU.  Worry more about your relationship with Christ than the hunt for a good man. Focus on God, in His time He will lead you to that special someone.  You know the saying, "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man must seek Him in order to find her." God is a jealous God. Anything you put before Him is an idol. But like everything, you can talk to Him about it. He wants a relationship with YOU. He wants to hear about it all but you must seek Him and set aside time to be with Him. But while you are waiting... Pray for your husband, because ultimately He already knows.

I struggle with this daily, I really need to stop desiring a relationship with a man over seeking my relationship with God. It's so easy to get caught up in these things because everyone around me is getting boo'd up or having a baby and here it is just me all alone. I should celebrate my singleness to honor God. Singleness is a time to P R E P.  I believe that anything that you need to fix within yourself is fixed better in solitude. Say you have alot of baggage and you never deal with the pains from your past, adding a boyfriend who comes with baggage. Just adds more baggage, which leads to  clutter and clutter leads to problems.  Allowing yourself time to be single and grow with God allows you the time to unpack your bags, wash a few loads and stack them neatly.

Enjoy this time with God and allow Him to mold you into the woman He wants you to be..

Personally, I wrote this for myself . I found this great guy  but because I think he is so awesome..  he's become too important. I feel as if the devil knows that I am searching for companionship and because I am somewhat desperate to find someone to make memories with, he could be using my vulnerability to distract me from what God wants me to be doing.  I realized this last night and I just want to run back into the arms of God. It's so comfy there!

He loves you!

Ways I like to Spend Time With God : Date Night inspired by Heather Lindsey

Growing up I was passionate for God in certain seasons; however when I wasn't in a spiritual season ... I did my own thing. In college, some of my employees at the time were really into a Christian Blogger named Heather Lindsey.  Of course, they asked me to read her blogs, so I gave it a shot. Because I wasn't seeking God at the time, I found Heather Lindsey to be EXTREME and I was a little turned off by it.

But now that seeking God is a daily goal, I have a better understanding of where she is coming from. I often refer to her as my big sister even though I don't know her but hey we are all brothers and sisters in Christ.  Right? But, something Heather shared in her Blog was date night!

Check it out:

http://heatherllindsey.blogspot.com/2012/01/how-to-spend-time-with-god.html#.UbrTA9g8xQU

I love date night. I get dressed up and God and I will go out somewhere and do something and I'll talk or journal to him .. just me and my Creator. It may sound odd to go places to eat , drink coffee, or watch movies by yourself  BUT... if you aren't comfortable in your OWN company ...having a plus one will not make it much  better. You've got to love yourself  to love someone else. And to love yourself , you should start with the One who loves you the MOST! 

 Diggin' Heather Lindsey?

*Follow her on twitter : @HeatherLLove

*Sign up for daily inspirational text messages. Text 84464 & write PINKYPROMISE for daily inspiration 

  *I'm currently reading her BOOK Check it out here: Pink Lips & Empty Hearts:  www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com

*You can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 13,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here:www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

*Also, you can purchase cool stuff at her store : Pinky Promise Store.

Becoming Content In Christ

The purpose of this blog is to help inspire women to live virtuously in their time of singleness. It is so easy to claim being a Proverbs 31, but actually being virtuous is a daily struggle. Yet no matter how many times I fail, I know my Father loves me despite my MANY flaws. I want to give God my all and I want to enjoy the life He has given me.I want to hold His hand as He unfolds to me my purpose.

All of this sounds so great until my faith is tested.

Today, I say I want to give God my all and then by the end of the week I'm too lazy to go to church, open my Bible,journal or blog. I say I want to enjoy the life He's given me and then I start complaining about being single and how much I wish I had someone. I start looking at  good friends of mine getting married or having children and here I am single. I often get caught in a funk believing that I was meant to be "Forever Alone." But instead of looking at what God is doing for others, I need to focus on being faithful on what He has asked me to do. We often get distracted from His Plan by comparing ourselves to other people.We must understand that God has a special plan for us but we must trust Him.

Ways I like to Spend Time with God :The Journal

Personally, I have a hard time forming human attachments. I'll just let people enter and exit my life without a care. As I grow older, I find it to be slightly sad and started searching for something genuine, a companion. But, instead of searching for friendship on my own, I consulted my Creator. In doing so I have found some great people who are on fire for the Lord. However, my solitude led me to trust God and to seek him daily.

One way I  spend time with God is through my journal. I love to write and I carry a specific journal just for my writings to God. I pour out whatever is on my heart to Him and just allow myself to release everything.  Each day at 3 o'clock, I set aside time to talk to God through my journal. However, somehow when I'm in the zone of expressing things to God, I get ideas or answers or something happens. Seeking God daily  helps build a close and intimate relationship with God.

Growing in Grace

In a previous blog, I mentioned how I was fasting from drinking. Well, lets just say I messed up. I was hanging out with some old friends and I slipped. I ended up falling back into the trap of last summer. I didn't get drunk but I started mixing juice and Ever clear together and I was feeling great. I felt so great that at close to midnight I called my attractive guy friend over. Oh yes I was doing the most. We didn't do anything out of the ordinary but I never call him, he always calls me; so he figured something was up. I sang most of my words and did little dances to everything. I was buzzed.

In the morning, I felt horrible. I felt like a disgrace to God. How could it be that last summer, I got drunk all the time and never felt convicted and now, I get a little tipsy and I feel worthless. My conviction set in and I begged God for His grace and mercy. Still feeling uncomfortable with myself, I went to the book store and I found a book called Growing In Grace. An excerpt from the book really resonated with me.

When Bob was asked what it meant to be a child of God. He answered, "It means that I'm totally acceptable to You, Lord. That all my sins are forgiven, even this one. And that I stand in the righteousness of Christ. He is in me and I am in Him."

Every minute of everyday of every second, We need God and it is Him who knows that we will always fall short of His Glory  but that is why he sent Jesus to die for us. Yippieee! I'm thankful for the Holy Spirit for convicting me but I'm even more glad that my Heavenly Father doesn't hang it over my head. I love knowing that he loves me and accepts me for who I am and even when I do wrong He welcomes me with open arms. He is so awesome and He loves you so much!

& that alone is a reason to celebrate

Seek God

Happy Sunday!

Luke 19: 1-6 – Jesus Comes to Zacchaesus’ House

“Then Jesus entered and passed through Jericho. Now behold there was a man named Zacchaeus who was a chief tax collector and he was rich. And he sought to see who Jesus was, but could not because of the crowd for he was of short stature. So he ran ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see Him, for He was going to pass that way. And when Jesus came to the place, He looked up and saw him and said to him, “Zacchaeus, make haste and come down, for today I must stay at your house. So he made haste and came down and received Him joyfully. “

 

I really like : “.4) So he ran ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see Him, for He was going to pass that way.”  This encouraged me to continue to seek God in everything.   That if God has given you something to do.. Don’t let the natural things block the supernatural. Zacchaeus didn’t let the fact that he was short stop him from seeking Jesus and that should be the same with us. We should fight the things that stand in our way from seeking God. Personally for me, I get lazy, sleepy or simply want to do my own thing but a verse that I committed to memory yesterday was James 4:7 “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will free from you.”  Continue to seek God in all that you to do because you never know who is coming to dinner. In fact, after the sermon was given, I picked where I wanted to eat and the pastor and his family ended up there as well and they even paid for lunch. Trust in God!

He loves you!

iScrewUp but Christ paid the $ Price $

Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”  I screwed up and I know it.  I allowed wanting a relationship to consume me, I made it my god; because I desired love.  Exodus 34:14 says,” Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.” But, I’m so grateful that God is so merciful to me. I need to learn to be content and learn to love my self alone and stop trying to make something happen on my own time. I need to enjoy life and work on myself during this season of singleness and trust God to do the rest.  So I made a reminder.

 Introducing my “iscrewUP” bracelet.  The screw up bracelet consists of 8 screw nuts, evenly distributed across a tough suede cord.  Since 7 is the number of completion and I am nowhere near complete, I’d like to begin again at 8.  Daily I stray away from God’s Will and thankfully and gratefully He welcomes me back into his presence.  I just want to remind myself that though I screw up daily, God  loves me .. No matter what! 

 Daily, I  want to strive to be a better woman in Christ. I want to seek God diligently and  worship Him in spirit and in truth. I dont want to look backwards, I want to become what God wants me to be. 

Life of A Sola : Live, Love , Learn & always T R U S T God

Today is the 7^th! A day I acknowledge the survival of a “special” friendship. I’ve often asked God to change me from keeping people at a distance and allow me to have a true friend. Well, I thought my prayers had been answered but my feelings got ahead of themselves. Wholeheartedly, I want to trust God in this but I don’t understand what my heavenly Father is doing and why my heart aches.

Here’s our story : http://loveandnotebooks.blogspot.com/

You see, after spending time talking to someone of the opposite sex every day for months I started to think it was going somewhere.  But, the truth is he kept me around for comfort, to fill the void of his ex.  I started to believe I was a complete joke.  He kept me around just to keep him company because he no longer had her to cling to. Once I realized what was going on , I bashed her. Yeah, horrible! I was like, “ She looks like a dragon , I’m a major UPGRADE.”  You know those awful things girls say when they are jealous. The truth is she’s beautiful and talented. She’s just as fearfully and wonderfully made as I am and I need to get over myself.  It just hurts  to feel this way …for nothing.

BUT  it got me to thinking…

Being a Sola (single woman) is a time where one should get to know herself.  A Sola should understand what they want and like and be comfortable within herself.  A Sola does not need a man to bring out the best in her, she is already the best.  Instead of searching for someone to complete her, she should use her singleness to better herself.  You cannot benefit from a relationship unless you know who you are. So many people are searching for love but fail to love themselves and learning to love yourself is a lesson that is taught by your Creator.  Surrender to God because He can show you how to love you but you must trust Him.  Words are not enough. Spend time with him, allow Him to stroke your ego with compliments, allow him to bathe you in His admiration. Accepting  God’s love is one of the greatest things one can do. We are not worthy of His grace and mercy but yet  He continues to bless us because He loves us.  Often times , I just cry thinking about how unworthy I am of God’s grace.

With that being said I asked myself, “What do I need a man for?”  I wanted someone to admire me, hold me, comfort me, be there for me if I need anything, surprise me, love me, care for me. I wanted a companion a friend. I soon realized that I could do all of that on my own. The date nights, surprises, adventures I could do that on my own and the person I needed to get closest too was the one who had never left my side,God. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we don’t need companionship and that we should all be alone with God. I’m saying that we should allow God to write our love story. God desires a relationship with us and if you want to have a Great Relationship, why not learn from the creator of relationships.

               

  As a Sola you are the Queen of Kings.  No matter how men have treated you in the past, sit firmly on your throne. Never lower your standards or degrade other women. We must empower and uplift each other because there are plenty of things in the world created to  tear us down.  When men hurt you, don’t dwell on it too long allow God to mend your broken heart and forgive. Step into God’s Will and accept what he has for you because it is nothing short of greatness. God loves you and you are truly a queen.

Becoming A Virtuous Virgin

Gate 8 : New Beginnings

In search of virtue, I decided that I’d do my best to live like I had never done before. I began a fast about two weeks ago so that I could possibly change my life, it’s tough but I know it is worth it. You see, Summer '12 I decided that I wanted to live the “college life” The life in which I would spend more money on alcohol than on food. The life in which I would occasionally smoke weed to free myself of emotional distress and cuddle with lame guys simply because I wanted to fill the void of having someone. I was a wreck, a total and complete mess and I’m determined to make this summer a much better one. Who searches for love in the arms of lost men? Who searches for comfort at the bottom of a  bottle? Who wants to be free from themselves?

Under Construction

People who don’t love themselves

 For days I couldn’t wrap my fingers around the thought, that I didn’t love myself enough. I wasn’t depressed or going through anything at all. But, what I was doing was seeking other people’s approval. I was waiting desperately for people to compliment my newest creation or admire me.  Subconsciously I was seeking approval from people who didn’t really matter. I was trying to please everyone but God.  And I realized that God let me step out of His Will to teach me so much and here I am now just begging to be covered in His grace and mercy.

Living in sin was fun but no matter how much fun I was having, I always felt like I was missing something.  And that something was always God.  Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t as if I wasn’t saved but I had taken a vacation from Christ and decided that I was going to do things my own way. So, I put on my skimpy clothes, popped bottles and did my dances to catch the attention of men and when I got it I basked in their admiration. I was such a tease, men would gravitate to my erotic dance moves and once they were captivated by me, they waited for me to put out. And ummm.. well I’m a 22 year old virgin.  No matter how drunk, high, or whose bed I cuddled in.. I wouldn’t give in.  Abstaining takes a lot of self-discipline and determination but I know that without God, I’m not always strong enough to say “no” on my own.

So this summer the fast began with :

No:

Cuddling

Drinking

Smoking

Sweets

Fast Food

Processed Food

This summer is about purifying  my mind, body, and soul. I want to be a better woman for God. I want to live the life Christ died for me to have. I am not worthy of God's grace and mercy ,but the least I can do is give to Him, what already belongs to Him.